“The RoseBouquet”

I long to become a Giver like God. But I’ve found it doesn’t happen overnight. There is a process to go through, for it involves character, and character has to be built. Some of the construction stages can last for years, even decades.

Recently, (but also in the past) people have reported that they saw the greatest examples of generosity when they visited the homes of the poorest of the poor in some third world country.

FACT: You don’t have to be rich with money to be generous.
FACT: Generosity starts with an attitude of gratitude.
FACT: Gratitude and generosity generate great joy.
FACT: Gratitude is simply saying thanks for even little favours.

Should you desire to be generous too, you will appreciate this wee primer.

1. The ultimate source and example is God Himself. Study His written works and try to emulate His giving patterns. His style is to give quietly, without fanfare, often anonymously, above and beyond what is expected, and most often through others who care about us. However, He does not force His gifts upon us. We get to reject them if we wish.

2. Learning to be a giver means learning to receive graciously. How well do you accept gifts and generosity from others? Are you so proud that you turn down gifts that are offered to you? It takes some humility to admit we have a need and that someone else is able to give us what we lack.

I learned about this when I had to give up my car and depend on friends for rides to church. I had often given rides to others, but chaffed at having to depend on others myself. It happened again when I moved home to care for my parents, and had to accept gifts of clothes, or helpful amounts of cash. It has come easier with time, but I try always to say thanks to both God and the friends.

My personal theory now is that God doesn’t trust us with great wealth until we have proved trustworthy and humble enough to receive gifts graciously. If you don’t know what it feels like to receive charity or handouts, you are likely to hurt people when giving out of your brash enthusiasm, and your sweeping generalizations.

3. Part of being on the receiving end of other’s generosity is knowing how to express a sincere and grateful thank you. Givers give again when they are thanked. If they are ignored, it will probably be the last time you receive from them.

Jesus Himself expressed surprise that only one out of ten lepers He healed, bothered to turn around and say, “Thank you.”

It has been my policy the past 23 years and more, to see gifts that are given unsolicited, as ones that God has prompted the friend or giver to offer. So I always thank Him as well as the friend. This brings glory to God, and allows me to pray for blessings upon the giver.

4. Anonymous gifts give me some frustration, though I know that sometimes it is the right approach. We can still thank God, but the opportunity to bless the giver is diminished.

5. While it’s possible to learn much about giving from receiving, a wise and discerning giver studies the many opportunities to give. There are people and charities who, if given too much, or at the wrong time, would squander the gift in foolish ways. i.e. giving a drunk cash means he will go drink more; a meal is better. A mission that has been operating from hand to mouth, is probably not ready to wisely use huge sums of money or properties.

Although I don’t consider myself an expert, I’m moving into a stage where I start to research missions and ministries, and even individuals that need regular support. I’m looking for ways to screen for the ones best able to forge ahead in doing great things for God, or individuals who have a desire to change the direction of their lives.

Clues like gratitude, plans for what they’ll do with the gifts, and an ability to receive graciously, humbly, are good starting points. Perhaps I can develop this area in another article some time.

Start today to become a grateful recipient and a generous giver.