“The RoseBouquet”

In my early teens I began to daydream and fantasize about a wonderful and perfect husband. He would be ever so attentive and understanding, and have marvelous solutions for every problem that I might have. He would love kids as much as I, and very quickly, we would start adopting all kinds of needy and unwanted kids. More than that, we’d take in even adults who needed to start life over, and train them to be tutors, and to help look after all our children.

These scenes were all so vivid to me that l I became convinced this was God’s plan for me. I looked forward to all this, as if it were prophesied! My one main hurdle was, I couldn’t make it happen. I could only wait and pray for it. I learned a lot about prayer over the years as I wanted to be sure I wasn’t hindering God from making it all come to pass.

No one ever explained to me the difference between visions and the gift of a vivid imagination.

In 1979, and again in 1980, and 1981, I attended a seminar in Toronto, on the very most basic life principles in God’s Word. Gradually, without any other mentor, but my BEST Friend, Jesus, during long, long prayer times, the Bible, and some books, I began to understand the truth. I wanted so very much to please the Lord, however, it wasn’t easy to give up my dreams of this wonderful husband and all those kids that were so very real to me. I would brokenly surrender them all up to the Lord in prayer, and moments later find myself having a mental conversation with one of them!

It took several months in the spring of 1981 and through the summer for my decision to trust the Lord to be my only Lover and Husband to take hold in my sub-conscious. By the end of that summer though, I seemed to have a totally new attitude. I grew very intimate with the Lord, totally devoted to Him, and found I could praise and worship God better than ever before.

That giving up stage was like mourning the death of a bunch of dear family members. Yet now when I look back, I see that God did what He promised in Jeremiah 31:13b, where He said, “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

I needed to let go of that fantasy husband and family before God could introduce me to the idea of going home to care for my parents. When I made that decision in ‘83, I really truly gave up the dreams; they could never come to pass in Hague.

Leaving a circle of good and very real friends, meant that I had to throw myself more and more into the arms of the Lord, as I started life over again in a small town, where I still do not really feel understood.

Ah, but all of that has turned out for my good and God’s glory! I’ve learned many lessons of walking by faith, and since Mom died, how to use the internet for business and mentoring, and friend-gathering. Oh, and becoming a prolific writer! Now I understand what a gift a vivid imagination is for! It was meant to make me a writer all along!

Now I can give my alter ego, Ruthe, the heroine of my novel, all the romance I dreamed up years ago. There was nothing wrong with my lovely fantasies except that they were NOT a prediction of what I would experience. Furthermore, a writer does have the power to make anything happen in a book. All impossibilities can be overcome. Really!

Only now I have to discipline myself to get that second book written and ready to publish.

To read sample chapters of my first book online, start at the book’s index

To order the e-book to download and read on your computer; Order Page
(or if you email me, we can make a deal and I’ll send it to you on CD).

To order the softcover paperback from Booklocker use; BookLocker.com