“The RoseBouquet”

I’ve noticed that brothers and sisters, children of the same father, can have totally different perspectives and relationships with their dad. These can range from great respect, and almost reverence when they speak to him, to aloofness and treating him as an old imbecile to be put into an institution. (I’m not saying this whole range is in our family, but we do have different views).

There are those that go to show off their children and new purchases to their father, talking on the one hand as if they want to keep him informed, but really hoping for a word of approval and acceptance from him.

I know of some who use their dad as a free babysitter, but he is only allowed to come over during those babysitting hours. Otherwise he is suppose to leave them alone to live their own lives. (The Dad I’m thinking of gets his heart broken regularly every week).

There are individuals who have had terrible experiences at the hands of their father, so it is easier to understand how they have problems celebrating Father’s Day.

I cannot say that I had such bad experiences, but from my early teens I was able to spot my Dad’s short-comings. He lacked education and tact, and he was quite slow when it came to figuring out the cost of a project or which was a better deal, when looking for a car, and so on. Mom tended to do a lot of his thinking for him. She told him what to do. That all seemed somehow incorrect to me. I wished he would speak up and be a man and a leader in the home, someone who would make wise decisions for us all.

After a while I realized that this wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t laziness on his part. He could tackle physical work like a strong ox. I even considered that perhaps he just needed an education; if only he could afford to go to school and get smart. But I had to concede that Dad simply was not able to handle big concepts. Before I graduated from high school I could talk circles around him.

Well, if I couldn’t ask him for guidance or help, I’d go independent.

[to read the rest of this article go to: Let Dad be Dad]

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