Remembering Reuben
We’re off to a funeral this Wednesday morning in the city, so I’m preparing this ahead.
I used to think funerals were all boring and much the same, and didn’t think I needed to go unless the deceased was really close to me, or I needed to be there for someone who was grieving. Over the last 10 - 20 years though, and by personal experiences with Gr’ma’s and Mom’s funerals, I’ve learned that there are other reasons to go to a funeral.
The family members will tend to huddle together, and I may not even get a chance to speak to them. That’s okay. When they get together afterwards they will be discussing and reminding each other who they saw present at the funeral. They’ll say, “Oh, she came? Isn’t that great!” Simply being there is a vote saying that you care, even if you don’t get to touch them.
If I can, i try to bring a card and leave it in the basket by the guest book. That’s where I can add thoughtful comments, or words of encouragement that can bless them many times over, when they go through those cards.
If I do get a chance to speak to any of the family members, my face usually scrunches up with tears, but that’s okay. All i have to do is hold out my arms, and give them a hug, and whisper, “I’m praying for you.” If they want to talk, I listen and respond sympathetically.
A year ago in May, Mom’s cousin, Rev. John D. Friesen, died and there were two services for him. He was well-known and loved far and wide. His wife Mary, who was also Mom’s cousin, but from the other side, died five days later. As a child I was taught to call them Uncle John and Aunt Mary. They had twin sons, Reuben and Ernest, and two daughters. Johanna is a year older than me, and Magdalena was a year younger. (Magdalena died at age 7).
Both Reuben and Ernest have had a serious lung disease and have had organ transplants. Reuben had it done twice! But these health problems set them back, and aged them a lot. I think Reuben looked older than his Dad last year at their parents’ funerals. Now he has been able to go Home to Heaven too.
I remember Reuben was the very first person to send me an email when I began online. He sent me some pictures I had him scan for me, and by email he coached me on how to open the attachments, and see the pictures. I was thrilled.