Perhaps you are a person who makes cards for Dad’s Day, or you help your kids to make them. I’ve done this for years myself, and yet, sometimes it’s good to see what others are doing for new ideas. I found some on these sites;
dltk-kids.com/crafts/dad ( I had great fun reading the recipes)
Daniellesplace
EnchantedLearning.com
PresentPicker.com (had suggestions for how to think up a gift)
I’ve noticed that brothers and sisters, children of the same father, can have totally different perspectives and relationships with their dad. These can range from great respect, and almost reverence when they speak to him, to aloofness and treating him as an old imbecile to be put into an institution. (I’m not saying this whole range is in our family, but we do have different views).
There are those that go to show off their children and new purchases to their father, talking on the one hand as if they want to keep him informed, but really hoping for a word of approval and acceptance from him.
I know of some who use their dad as a free babysitter, but he is only allowed to come over during those babysitting hours. Otherwise he is suppose to leave them alone to live their own lives. (The Dad I’m thinking of gets his heart broken regularly every week).
There are individuals who have had terrible experiences at the hands of their father, so it is easier to understand how they have problems celebrating Father’s Day.
I cannot say that I had such bad experiences, but from my early teens I was able to spot my Dad’s short-comings. He lacked education and tact, and he was quite slow when it came to figuring out the cost of a project or which was a better deal, when looking for a car, and so on. Mom tended to do a lot of his thinking for him. She told him what to do. That all seemed somehow incorrect to me. I wished he would speak up and be a man and a leader in the home, someone who would make wise decisions for us all.
After a while I realized that this wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t laziness on his part. He could tackle physical work like a strong ox. I even considered that perhaps he just needed an education; if only he could afford to go to school and get smart. But I had to concede that Dad simply was not able to handle big concepts. Before I graduated from high school I could talk circles around him.
Well, if I couldn’t ask him for guidance or help, I’d go independent.
[to read the rest of this article go to: Let Dad be Dad]
To read sample chapters of my first novel online, start at Index of novel
To order the e-book to download and read on your computer; Order Page (or if you email me, we can make a deal and I’ll send it to you on CD).
To order the softcover paperback from Booklocker use; Booklocker.com
Yes, thanks! We did have a good weekend at the Reunion of Dad’s Friesen Cousins. It was an 8.5 hour trip there to the Southern Alberta Baptist Bible Camp, which had been rented for our reunion. For us it was the third time there, so we felt like we knew our way around the Lodge and camp grounds.
We did a lot of one-on-one visiting, and I feel like I made a new friend in a second cousin of mine that I had not known before. Wayne and Hilda came to me and said that his sister Joanne wanted to know who the “Ruth” they kept talking about was. She was at their table, so after our first supper there, I went over and got introduced. By the end of the evening we were friends. The next day we spent even more time together over my genealogy computer which I’d set up in the corner of the dining room, and she gave me the data for all her children and grandchildren.
Oh yes, right. Dad did buy that camera last week Wednesday. The one that came with a photo printer. I tried it out on my morning walk before breakfast the next day, and Dad tried it on his walk after breakfast. When I hooked it up to the computer that evening I could see that we were getting excellent quality photos. At the reunion, Dad stuck to trying to fill his instamatic camera, and I got the use of the new digital. The little screen at the back showed how many pictures I had taken out of 100.
Uncle Bill from Toronto was taken with some fragile old sketches of his Dad (my grandpa) and some thin but elegantly covered Christmas poems in German, in that spidery Gothic script. He wanted to scan them but there was no scanner there. I said, “Let me try with this new digital!.” By the time I had finished snapping each page I had used up over 80 of my 100 shots. I had to go a bit more frugally on the rest to make sure I had room for the family and whole clan group shots.
I did get some of people being hoisted up high (about 2-3 stories high!) between 3 tall poles down by the lake, then with the pull of a rip-cord they were left hanging by one strong rope and swung back and forth until they wanted down and the attendants eased them to the ground.
However, I missed it when Edwin, a 73-year old truly authentic cowboy (tho’ now retired) went up on that swing. His wife was amazed, but Edwin said he wants to do that again at the next reunion in three years!
Anyway, I haven’t had time yet to put together any photo story, but you can watch for it. It’s likely to happen. 
I sold my second-cousin - new friend, Joanne, a copy of my novel!
I had taken along quite a bit of stuff, including copies of my novel, and my genealogy book for sale, and I was allowed to claim a table to set up my display, but as I think back on it, I realize that I probably could have been a bit more aggressive in letting people know I had things for sale there. I guess because I’m not in the habit of thinking myself as managing a sales table, I’m not in gear to take every opportunity. I need to THINK in terms of sales, and I’ve begun to consider - just what are my best sales techniques, and how can I polish and improve them? Both off-line in face-to-face contacts, and online, world-wide.
The site make-overs are creeping along. I hope to finish the last three articles and indexes to the Sharing Library on Ruthes-SecretRoses.com this afternoon.
As for newer author photos, that hasn’t happened yet, but now in reading the manual to the new camera I see that I could use the timer settings and take pictures of myself. All I need to do is find a shelf the right height, set it to a 2 or 10 sec delay and run around to stand in front of it. (It’s suppose to be able to take little wee movies too, but I’m going to learn the basics first).
This coming Saturday, June 10, we are going to be part of the Western Tract Mission’s fundraising walkathon in Saskatoon. Dad will do the route along the Meewasin Trail along the Saskatchewan River, in Saskatoon, on his medi-chair scooter again, as he has previously. I’m to be the photographer, and help set up the picnic barbecue in the Kinsmen Park, just I’ve done before too.
There are many other events happening this weekend, but we hope for a good turnout and perhaps a doubling of funds raised over last year. Hey, if you’d like to help out, you could go to this site, and print out the PDF sponsor sheet, see what you can round up and send it in. Right! Even if you are too far away to take part in the walkathon physically, you can support this tract literature and Bible correspondence courses ministry. WesternTractMission.org
I used to think that my hometown was so small, no one knew of it outside of our small population. I did a little search yesterday on local business sites, and discovered there are quite a few sites that mention Hague. Some of them merely in a list, but if you’re coming to visit us, you’ll want a map, right? This one looks good. becquet.com/director/maps/Hague.htm (Hague is on #11 highway, near bottom right of map)
This site has an aerial view of our town: shopsaskatchewan.com/shop-hague.htm
You are of course welcome to stay with Dad and me! We have a single and a double bed guest rooms. But if you need some other place, or will be arriving on your horse, there is one Bed and Breakfast nearby on a farm. It will especially appeal to you if you love animals. PlacetoPaws.com
We’re just back from a Reunion of my Dad’s Friesen Cousins. He is the oldest one of that generation now, at 90. All those older than him in that extended clan have died, and even a number of those younger than Dad.
As I looked over that generation of first cousins I saw the signs of aging since the last reunion three years ago. I’m sort of between, in that I have socialized with most of them at different times, and yet I am one of the younger - the next generation of second cousins and third… and so on. I’m plumb in the middle of that generation gap. This gives me a unique perspective.
Allow me to give you some tips today on how best to relate to those older First Cousins (the 75-90 age range).
They find travel and being away from their familiar daily routines and foods and beds - in a word, difficult. When they come out to an over night event, do your best to make them comfortable.
But even better idea would be to go pay them a visit on their own turf. They tire out easily and need their naps, so those visits can be short, an hour or two at the most, but try to make them more frequently then before. Though there might be the odd exception, they will be delighted to see you!
Most of them are conscientiously downsizing their possessions, because either they are, or will be moving into smaller apartments or rooms soon. This means that they don’t really need big display gifts. If you know they love flowers, a single rosebud in a pretty vase would be better than a large bouquet for which they have no space. Most still treasure photographs, but I discovered that some are disposing of theirs. If they find no one is interested - they consign them to the garbage! (I managed to inherit some at the reunion by expressing chargrin that they would throw these out).
If you have any interest in your family history, you ought to go visit them now, ask them for their stories and memories, and if they are dumping photos and documents that might help you or your children in future research, be ready to rescue them.
Generally, the gift they want and appreciate most, that you spend a few minutes, maybe an hour, sitting up close in front of them, for one-on-one conversation. Sitting beside them means they will crank their upper body sideways so they can read your lips when you speak. Even if not totally deaf, many have become hard of hearing, and most have vision problems.
My Mom used to say that she hated those large group meetings in a room where many were talking at once. It sounded like a hen house, with everyone going “Bak-bak-BAK!” but she couldn’t make out the words people, even close to her, were saying. At the reunion a number of other seniors expressed the same thought. They sat quietly or slumped together when the dining room was abuzz with chatter, or when there was a program type of event - especially if people avoided the mikes - because they understood no one. If I talked to them off to one side, or out on the deck, they came alive and were eager to have a conversation.
In fact, many of them are early risers. I am too, so when I came in from my walk all over the camp grounds before breakfast, or even if I stepped into the dining hall before that for a glass of water, here were a huddle of these seniors, who had been up since about 6 AM, patiently waiting for the rest of the world to wake up and come put out some breakfast. That turned out to be the best time to visit with a number of them. They were rested, their minds were alert, and they were very willing to visit with me in the large quiet room.
One of these ladies, when I met her in the ladies washroom was quite put out and pouting because she was not having a good time. Another one confided to me that she would not come next time because she couldn’t make out what others were saying, and hardly anyone spoke to her.
But then there was Dad’s cousin Nick from Manitoba, God bless him, who is legally blind and deaf, but could still manage to see and hear a bit when talking one-on-one with individuals. He made it his business to seek out each of his cousins, and then began on the next generation. He pulled them aside, and asked them about their lives, and how they were doing, and he listened patiently with his hand cupped behind his ear. When he got to me, I thought of Helen Keller, and commended him for this effort. Nick smiled and said softly, “God has been good to me so many years, surely I can bear with a few inconveniences the last part of my journey home.”
Do you see that when you take time to honour and respectfully meet these older relatives on their own terms you and are only going to bless ourselves in the end? There are things we can learn from them that will save us heartache and wrong turns in life.
Not all are mature and godly mentors, and focused on blessing us, but all still have the gift of life, and are made by God. To reject or disregard these relatives is to dishonour their Creator. I am also convinced, as my dear Grosz’mama Kroeker taught me, (and as the Bible teaches too), that we are going to experience in our old age, the same kind of treatment that we give others right now. The best insurance for lots of loving visits and attention when we grow frail and helpless, is that we give that to others while we still can.
Another lesson I learned is that appearances can be deceiving. A senior that looks the least likely to be the opposite underneath is probably going to surprise you. A very serious, rigid-looking adult can turn out to the funniest cut-up. A bow-legged cowboy with stiff joints may be willing to go up on a high pulley swing in a harness, and allow himself to be hoisted three stories up off the ground, and whirled in the air.
If you need a friend, and are prepared to be a friend first, you will find wonderfully ripe pickings among the seniors. They are not hung up on having only people their own age for friends, they are ready to connect to anyone who takes time to slow down and talk with them. They may have touching or funny stories about your parents and grandparents, and viewpoints that you won’t benefit from if you don’t meet them on their ground.
Sure, they may die soon, and if you’ve grown fond of them, you’ll miss them, but if you don’t reach out in friendship and kindness to the seniors in your world, you will lose out on far better lasting treasures.