“The RoseBouquet”

Last Thursday Dad had a C-Scan at St. Paul’s hospital in Saskatoon. Using his new Sask Abilities wheelchair he was even able to go shopping afterwards. I picked up a 6-pack of nutritious strawberry milkshakes and he really loved those. That was good because Dad began to lose his appetite and his coughing got worse.

On Saturday I pointed out that at the rate he was going through the milkshakes there wouldn’t be enough left for Sunday. “Let’s go to the city and get more,” he said. Dad promised to stay on the car, if he could just go along for the ride. So we did.

Sunday morning he complained of pain, so I gave him a teaspoon of the morphine and stayed home from church to watch for side-effects. He slept soundly zonked out in his recliner all morning, and again after lunch. However, as predicted by the doctor, it also constipated him, and though he didn’t have any morphine all Monday, he spent all evening on the toilet groaning.

Yesterday morning he wasn’t feeling good at all, and felt the distance to the bathroom was too far. I asked if he’d rather be in hospital. He didn’t know. We discussed the pros and cons. They could give him IV and maybe a catheter if that became necessary.

Otherwise, we realize staying at home has far more advantages;
- he can sit in his favourite recliner - where he sleeps well
- he can be dressed, which he prefers, in case visitors come
- we have more comfortable chairs for visitors too
- I let him eat when he likes now, or all the milk shakes he wants
- he can have morphine at home just as easily as in hospital,
- and I can continue to work here at my desk when he’s home.
- I could also ask HomeCare for a commode right beside the bed.

But when I offered to take him to hospital he agreed. Our favourite nurse Brenda Neudorf was in charge, and she called Dr. Bishop who had just seen the results of the C-scan last week. Dad got the red carpet treatment after that. We got him settled into the bed (the other bed is vacant), and lunch was brought for him.

Shortly after, Dr. Bishop came in and asked Dad how much help he really wanted. IV would hydrate him and he might perk up enough to want to go home in a few days. The report he saw indicates that his tumor is a big one, and growing fast. Which explains why Dad looks so puffy and swollen in his face and left hand and arm.

He could try steroids which might shrink the tumor temporarily, but there are serious side-effects. He suggested I research that and discuss it with Dad before we consider it. We let Dad say what he wanted, and he thought the IV might be helpful. So that’s what he’s got.

However, his blood vessels seem to “dance away,” as one nurse said, so it took two of them, each with a long spell of trying, to get the IV needle in.

Dr. Bishop hesitated to commit himself to a time frame, but I got the impression we are looking at just a couple of weeks at most, maybe just days. My own impression too, is that if the kidneys are slowing down, Dad’s time is measured in days.

Dad told the nurses and the doctor that he’s just waiting for Jesus to come! They were wonderful with that.

I spent last evening emailing relatives, and phoning some aunts and uncles and Dad’s cousins who don’t have email. But already I can think of some more to notify. I feel strong and okay myself, but as if I’m shifting into an on-ramp stage for some intense and very physically intensive days. Some details I can plan in advance, but for many it means wait, take-one-day a time.

As I said last week, if I fall behind on emails, check this blog for in-between updates.

Meantime, my own business efforts are mostly on hold. I do have a translation job from Gothic German script to English. I only average about one a year as this is getting to be a rare language. I have printed it out and can work on it while sitting at Dad’s bedside. I will try to keep up with my clients in the evenings as much as possible, but I can see where some of those evenings will have to be declared “personal time” too.

What’s really special to me is the wonderful emails I’m getting from subscribers to the RoseBouquet. I’m picking out a few to share here.

I had written last week, “….So if you want to join me in praying for God’s blessings - jump on in!”

Robin from South Africa wrote;
………………………………
“Hey Ruth. Yes, I will jump in and help pray for God’s blessings for you.

Dear Father God, thank you that you are with Ruth as she faces this difficult time in her life. I know she is really going to need your extra support and care and wisdom soon, so I’m asking that you would bless herabundantly with your presence that fulfills all needs.

Thank you father in Jesus name. Amen.

Will be thinking of you.

God Bless”
…………………………….

Barb in California wrote;

………………….
“Ruth, I am so sorry to hear about your daddy though we both know He is in God’s hands all the way down this path. Still, I know how hard it is to love a loved one. My daddy’s death hit me especially hard as I was truly my daddy’s girl. We had so much more in common than mama and I; a love for books, nature, gardening, history, hiking–and each other. He has been gone six years and it is hard to think about. Though he told his pastor he knew where he was going and wasn’t afraid to face His God, I still miss him.

Savor each day, dear, as I know you will. You have been such a wonderful daughter to him, so caring and loving and helpful. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.”
…………………..

Oh. Guess what! Helen, from up the next block here in Hague, phoned this morning and we talked for about an hour (yes, between the stuff above). Ten minutes later, here she is at the door with a valentines card and gift for me. Turns out to be a box of Kathy Belgian Chocolates! Yum! There’s even some white ones in there!

This reminds me. It’s Valentine’s Day today and I want to wish each of you a wonderful day of knowing you are Loved. Regardless of whether anyone else gives you a hug or chocolates or whatever, please know that I love you, and that our Heavenly Father sings over you in Heaven. Just read Zephaniah 3:17 in the Bible.

Here’s one more that is so touching! It’s from Gerry in Arizona;

…………………….
Your gifts have blossomed through the period of time you spent caring for your parent’s! All those gifts were planted in you and you used your time well…producing a book and all the on-line writing you do. God has used your talents greatly and I can see why you trust God to continue to lead. Please know that God has a lively “clay” in you! You are intelligent and enthusiastic (which is why I was so interested in getting to know you when I met you at Pat’s). Not everyone has the ability or the drive to use her talents. Many people would feel sorry for themselves and see the years with elderly parents as a burden. You see time as a commodity to be portioned out and well managed so that you produce something of value. As a result, you influence many people….and HELP many people!! God is blessing you for your service…”
…………………….

Now, isn’t she perceptive?

I haven’t had time to write a new article, so I’ve just dusted off and updated a Valentine’s article I wrote five years ago for Dad when he was soon to be 86. You’ll find it under Ruthe’s Roses.

Hey, for someone who has trouble watching videos without lots of pauses and starts, you might be surprised to find me offering TV on my site, but they made it so easy for me I couldn’t resist.

The SiteSell people are really on the cutting edge of what’s new and attractive and works well. Since online videos are the “Kool Stuff” of the Internet these days, they’ve created a TV that can play from any web page 24/7, and lined up some videos to play in it too. If you want to see how it looks, and if your computer is able to handle FlashPlayer videos, you can check it out right here; My SBI TV

[Please note: this article is updated from an article written as a Valentine’s tribute before his 86th Birthday in 2001. Right now he has cancer, and if he makes it to February 20th, Dad will be 91 years old).

Dad grew up on a prairie homesteading and didn’t get much of an education. He attended a one-room country schoolhouse nearly eight years, and learned to read and write, and to do a rather stumbling math. His education was mostly in riding as a cowboy, and in fixing machinery in his father’s little workshop shed on the farm. So no, my Dad is not used to sending valentines, and expressing his affection. He feels deeply, but doesn’t really know how to say tender love messages.

But you know, it doesn’t really matter to me any more.

Just a minute. There’s the day he gave me a homemade cutting board for bread. I believe Dad meant that as a love-gift even if he forgot to say the words. This week he decided to give me his car, and pay for the first year’s insurance. There are countless times Dad has fixed kitchen appliances for me, or seen to the furnace, or done the weeding in the garden, so I wouldn’t need to. Dad expresses his love in very practical ways.

I used to be ashamed of my father’s limitations, lowly jobs, and ignorance about worldly things, I have come to appreciate and even love him for who he is since I came home to care for my parents 23 1/2 years ago. Since Mom died, I’m here to look after Dad’s practical needs. Sure, it has been humbling in some ways. Yet enough time has passed so that I can see the benefits.

Dad’s a storyteller in his old age, much as his father was, and though he sometimes mixes up the details when he retells them, his storytelling shows what is really important, and going on in his heart and mind.

A couple of bearded old men came to talk of old times once with Dad. I don’t recall what set him off, but he began to lecture them about some grasp of theology he has, and it sounded like preaching.

With age he is losing his grasp on non-concrete concepts, but that evening it was clear that he’s committed to believing and honouring God; and his heart is on guard against evil and lies - the best Dad knows how.

. He actually has quite a creative, engineering mind, as became obvious when he puttered away in his workshop. That breadboard he gave me for instance, was a long time in the making because he’d observed that the one he’d given me before was of soft wood and tended to splinter. So he’d gone to look for some trees with very hard wood, spent several saw blades in cutting them into plank pieces, glued them together, and trimmed them into one smooth breadboard.

There are other times I’ve seen him problem-solving in action, creating something that solved it, but didn’t exist before. He could invent without knowing that big word.

“Yes, when your heart and mind are guarded for the Lord, no one can steal them. And you get to use them on into your 91st year of life. - Happy Valentine’s Day, Dad!”

Our long cold winters mean that he can’t go for the long walks he used to, so Dad has been spending more time in his recliner doing some light reading, or dozing - even snoring. It’s a rest that he’s earned during all those years when Dad had to work those long, hard 16 hour days, at physical labour, just to support his family and see we all survived to adulthood.

I’m also very grateful that he allows me the freedom to spend my days on the computer looking after a business he cannot understand to reap rewards he cannot see. Nor does he complain when the house only gets cleaned on Saturdays, and I’ve got meal-making down to a light, quick series of steps. We are really quite compatible; divinely coordinated, for sure!

These last nine years especially, God has made us a gift one to the other. I have learned to forgive and love, and he has learned to trust me, and to enjoy the kind of freedom to be himself that his boyhood should have given him. It is an honour and a privilege to care for Dad in these closing weeks and days of his life.

“Dad, I love you and thank God for you!”

Here Jesus called the crowd closer and taught them the difference between what goes into a person and what comes out.

His disciples came to Him later and said the Pharisees had been offended by that. No doubt. They had a lot of rules about sanitarily washing your hands and food in certain ways before eating. I’m sure those rules would have passed with flying colours before the best of the health gurus today. Anything less was considered unholy by the Pharisees of that day.

Jesus brushed off that attitude and said it was far more import what comes out of a person than what goes in. Food, and anything taken into the mouth will eventually come out through the stomach and anus. It is the words and the attitudes that come out through the mouth that indicate there is unholiness in a person. These sins come out of the heart, or the spirit of a person; they are the things that defile or make one unholy.

So Jesus doesn’t get into knots over you or me coming to the table with unwashed hands; He really wants to deal with the garbage coming out of our mouths.

Let’s not let Satan distract us with obsessions about right and wrong foods, although I’m sure we can seek out and follow the most sensible dietary rules to our advantage. I’ve been learning lately of the value of drinking more water each day, and going for walks. Question is; how much time do we spend searching our hearts for wrong attitudes, or trying to learn godly character traits? This will please the Lord more.

PRAYER: Oh Lord God, I do want to please You more. Come, help me search my heart right now, and see if there be any wicked way in me. Cleanse my heart and mind with the water of Your Word. Fill me with the fruit of Your Holy Spirit, so that out of me will flow love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. These traits I know do please You, Lord God. Cause Your living waters to flow out from my heart to others, as well.

+++++Jesus is my King+++++Jesus is my King+++++

Blessings on you Today!
Ruth Marlene Friesen

P.S. If you have difficulty building new friendships it might help to watch someone who makes friends easily and study her. Ruthe, the heroine in my novel would make a great subject for this! The whole book is from her viewpoint and shares her thoughts. You get to “feel” what it is like to start a new friendship, and then work at keeping it alive..Get “Ruthe’s Secret Roses.” the softcover at Booklocker.com

After the disciples night on the rough lake, and the storm suddenly stilled when Jesus got into the boat, they arrived on the other side. It was a place called Gennesaret.The people there recognized Jesus. Some might have got some of that free supper the day before, I think.

The wonderful thing about the residents here was that they did not keep this good news to themselves. They sent word very quickly to all the surrounding country. People began to stream to Jesus with their sick. They wanted healing for loved ones, not just themselves.

There were many who saw that Jesus might be overwhelmed, and so as to not require too much of Him, they asked that their sick simply be allowed to touch the hem of Jesus’ cloak. Look at this last phrase in verse 36; “and all who touched him were healed.”

Jesus didn’t say, “No, I have to interview each one to make sure you qualify.” Nor, “take a number, get in line.”

It really wasn’t complicated to get healed that day. All you had to do was make the effort to reach out in faith and connect with Jesus for but a moment.

Believers now-a-days make coming to Jesus so very difficult. We analyse the process to death, and throw around such big words, and devise three and four step methods. The needy end up backing off.

Jesus doesn’t mind - even now - if individuals will just reach out and connect with Him by faith. He can read minds and hearts. Interviews are not requrired, although He is able, because of His divinity and through the Holy Spirit, to carry on conversations with any number of people at the same time. Jesus is not limited to the TIME dimension like we are now.

PRAYER: Oh Lord Jesus! What a refreshing reminder this is. I knew it, but I forget so easily that it is not hard to connect with You. And I need to do this every day. Many times a day. You have time for me!

+++++Jesus is my King+++++Jesus is my King+++++

Blessings on you Today!
Ruth Marlene Friesen

P.S. Got sibling troubles? Do you and your sister fight like cats? Sometimes it’s two against three - never really fair, is it? Ruthe, in Ruthe’s Secret Roses has one jealous sister and one who adores her and is able to keep secrets very well. You’ll find that she understands your dilemma, as you watch her struggle for answers.

The nitpicking Pharisees and teachers of God’s laws came from the big city of Jerusalem to check on Jesus, and to point out wrongs in their eyes. They asked, “Why do Your disciples not keep the traditions, and not wash their hands before they eat?”

Just how many fountains of flowing water did they see out in the rural areas where the crowds gathered around Jesus? I’ve seen the lineups in a church wash-room; what did they expect?

But Jesus didn’t get sidetracked. He asked why they broke God’s command for the sake of their traditions? He gave an example. God said to Honour father and mother, and whoever curses either is to be put to death, yet they taught that what you owed to your parents could be dedicated to God, which in their minds, superceded God’s command, nullifying it.

Jesus quoted God’s charge in Isaiah, “These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.”

So, I do the same thing? Have I dedicated time to God, that I should have spent giving honour and respect to my parents? Do I appear to be worshipping God, but my heart is far from Him, and I’m just going through little rules and routines I’ve made up?

I wish it weren’t so! I think I have done just that more than once. Although vague now, times do come to mind when I insisted that I had to work at the church, or on my AWANA projects rather than do something for Mom. I had many failures like that over the years. Probably not so much now with Dad, but I do try to fit his needs in around my own business schedule. Sometimes even my devotional times are dull routines, instead of alive with true worship to God.

PRAYER: Lord, I am as guilty as the Pharisees of these charges. I’m truly sorry! Please cleanse me of these sins by Your precious blood shed on the cross, and make me whiter than snow. Help me to worship You!

+++++Jesus is my King+++++Jesus is my King+++++

Blessings on you Today!
Ruth Marlene Friesen

P.S. Just graduating from high school in a small town in Saskatchewan, Canada, Ruthe commutes to the city of Saskatoon as a telephone operator. BUT in her off hours, she gets involved in the lives of the abused, bereaved, dying and spiritually hungry. Read Ruthe’s Story

Right after that huge supper, Jesus sent His disciples out to the other side of the lake in their boat. Then He good bye to the crowd.

If you’ve ever been to a large church meeting, you’ve observed how the preacher stands at the door, and everyone gets to have a word with him as they leave. Who knows how long that took!

Once they were all gone, Jesus turned and went up into the hills to spend some time alone in prayer. He knew how important it is to connect with God after a big event like that.

Meantime, the disciples were caught in a storm on the lake, and were banged about by the wind and waves.

During the fourth watch of the night - I’m not sure of the hours, but that must make it nearly dawn, - Jesus came to them, walking naturally on the water. The disciples’ teeth chattered as they talked of a ghost. Jesus heard and said (note, He didn’t shout), “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

Impulsive Peter called out, “If that’s You, Lord, tell me to come to You on the water.”

“Come,” Jesus replied.

Peter scrambled over the side and walked a few steps. Then he saw big tall waves rolling in, got his eyes off Jesus, and began to slide, feet down into the water. In panic he cried out to be saved.

Of course, Jesus did and chided him for doubting. When they climbed into the boat the wind abated, and the waters were calm.

So - Jesus encourages us to walk on water?

PRAYER: But Lord, that’s hard! When I get a great idea, it’s easy to scramble out of my comfort zone and walk on water. But then I glance at my circumstances, and my eyes are no longer on You. The sinking happens so quickly. Oh that I might keep my eyes on You and NOT doubt! Help me to learn this tremendous key!

+++++Jesus is my King+++++Jesus is my King+++++

Blessings on you Today!
Ruth Marlene Friesen

P.S. “God, give ME a Friend!” Is that your heart’s cry? If you feel friendless, you will be thrilled to meet Ruthe and her BEST Friend, whom she loves to share! Get the book; Ruthe’s Secret Roses.

When Jesus heard of John’s excution, He wanted to withdraw for some private time, but the crowds followed Him and his disciples out to the hills. When he saw the crowds, He turned around and had compassion on them and healed their sick.

That must have been quite the line up, for evening approached before the disciples said, “these people haven’t had anything to eat all day.” They suggested Jesus send them out to the nearby villages, maybe over the next hill or two, to buy their supper. Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them to eat.”

Right away the disciples could explain why it was impossible. They already knew that the only food in the whole crowd was five loaves (most likely the size of our dinner rolls), and two small fish.

Jesus saw the possiblity. He asked for what food they had found. He blessed it and broke it up, and handed it to the disciples to distribute, telling them to get the people to sit down in groups. They kept breaking off pieces and handing them to people.

I wonder how many minutes into their distribution the disciples realized what was happening, and began to look at each other over the heads of the crowds, with their jaws slack in astonishment.

When the people refused seconds and thirds, empty baskets were rounded up, and the disciples had to gather the left overs off the ground, or from people’s hands. These left-overs amounted to twelve baskets full of broken pieces of bread and fish!

Woman who organize food for family gatherings, or even public events, observe there seems to be as many left overs as the amount of food that was brought. Since they had probably served the men, who broke and passed the pieces on to their wives and children, the disciples knew they had served five thousand men.

PRAYER: Dear Lord, let me give You my small amounts of everything! Surely, in Your hands it will become enough for me, and to share with many others!

+++++Jesus is my King+++++Jesus is my King+++++

Blessings on you Today!
Ruth Marlene Friesen

P.S. If you are fed up with “reality” stories and shows, and would like to see someone in action who lives with integrity, and does good to everyone she meets, and solves problems by prayer and faith in God - then it is time you meet Ruthe in Ruthe’s Secret Roses

Dad and I waited up until midnight for Ernie last Friday night. He showed up at 1:13 am. I slept through it but Dad woke enough to welcome him, and then they both went to bed in rooms directly opposite each other. I let them both sleep in, but both were at the breakfast table about 10 on Saturday morning.

Despite Dad’s hoarse, and tiny high voice, he began to tell Ernie stories after stories. They ranged all over his life. Ernie lapped it up and encouraged him to talk. In the afternoon they went outside for a bit to look for something Dad had missplaced, and Ernie got the bus plugged in and cleaned, and he also shovelled the garden path for me. (That snow canyon get deeper/higher(?) all the time).

When they came in Dad was telling stories again. I decided to give them more privacy, and I told Ernie that when Dad fell asleep he could join me downstairs as I’d like to have a chat with him too. It never happened. Ernie came down just when I was coming up to make supper.

After supper Dad went to his recliner but Ernie stayed in the kitchen, so while Dad dozed off I asked Ernie to give me his good listening ear for a while. I wanted to clear certain things up. I ended up getting an ear full and after a while Dad woke and joined us, hating to miss a thing.

Dad’s face and eyes were looking very baggy. I began to worry that he was emotionally and physically spent. Utterly spent!

He had mentioned just the day before t