It’s hard to sum up the last 10-12 days. There were some plodding days, but some emotionally intense ones too. Dad’s last hospital stay was from his 91st birthday on Feb. 20 to the 24 when he died. Each day I saw him fail more and more, and on the afternoon of Friday the 23, I arrived with extra snacking foods, and a pillow and afghan, so I could just camp in his room, using the soft leatherette recliner the staff had brought in for me.
There was a snow storm that night, so I was glad I had not tried to go home. Through that night and all of Saturday I could see that the end was near.
In the afternoon, Dad’s buddy Jona Janzen showed up, and I explained that I didn’t think Dad could speak any more, but he might be able to hear us. When ready to leave he went up to the bed and said “Good bye.” We were both surprised when Dad answered, “Good bye.”
After 8 pm one of the night nurses and I agreed that what we were hearing in Dad’s throat was the death rattle. His body had filled up and was swollen hard with fluids, and now his lungs were full too. I prayed and asked the Lord to take him Home so he didn’t have to suffer any more. Only minutes later, as I was wiping his hot sweaty head with a cold cloth, Dad’s breathing slowed and gradually came to a stop. I said to him with tears, “Dad, Jesus has come for you now. You can go with Him.” I turned off the oxygen machine and called the nurse. It was 9:08 pm.
That’s when the activity began. I called the funeral home from the phone across the hall, and then phoned my brother Ernie, and my niece Jalise, who were poised to phone a number of others.
I gathered up all my stuff and Dad’s stuff and loaded it on his wheelchair and then went to scrap the ice off my car, and load up to go home.
Once there I made a number of more calls, and began to receive long distance calls. I went to bed when I found myself going in circles around the house.
Sunday I stayed home and made calls and tidied up the house in preparation for visitors. In the evening two couples from church came to offer comfort, and I kept fielding more and more calls.
Monday morning I arranged for the return of the loaned hospital bed, wheelchair, etc., and went to pick up my brother Tom from the city. We drove straight on to the funeral home to make plans, and then on to Waldheim, to let Mennonite Trust know they are the executor of the will. That involved a meeting of an hour and a half. When we got home people started to arrive with food, and just to talk.
Tuesday, because I’d forgotten Dad’s suit, we went back to the funeral home, and also went to order cinnamon buns for the funeral lunch, and the casket spray of flowers. The rest of the day Tom and I received visitors and I tried to get the beds made up. My sister Elsie and her two children, and two grandchildren were driving through the night and would arrive early in the morning. I stayed up late drafting the funeral bulletin and obituary.
They arrived Wednesday morning, about 7:25 am. The three adults wanted to go to bed, the two kids had slept on the way, so they were wide awake. I’d promised to pick up my uncle and aunt from Toronto at the airport, but didn’t like to leave little Elise (age 2 1/2) running wild in the house and I knew Tom couldn’t chase her up and down stairs, so I transferred her carseat to my car, and took her along. She slept on the way but at the airport she wanted out too, so I carried her. (I shouldn’t have done that!)
By lunch time my sister Elsie, and her son Jasel were in charge of meals, and we ate well. That evening we met at the funeral home for the Family Viewing and sharing time. I hadn’t really planned on saying anything, but when I saw that everyone else had had a turn, I blurted out my thoughts about looking to God to be my Heavenly Father, and letting Dad be Dad and me be me, and how I thought we’d had nine very good years together. That seemed to open my emotional floodgates and I couldn’t stop crying. I was weepy the rest of that evening and all the next day.
On top of all that, I began to have a severe backache. I thought it was just carrying Elise - forgetting I have osteoporosis - and the emotional factor, but later I realized that I had also hoisted Tom’s wheelchair in and out of the car trunk.quite a number of times.
Although I’d planned to read the obituary I was writing,(everyone had a turn at editing it), the morning of the funeral I could see that I’d never make it through the reading, so I asked Uncle Bill, Dad’s only remaining brother, to read it for me. I changed the bulletin and went to church to make the photocopies. Three pastors in the office offered to do the folding for me.
Naturally, before and after the funeral service I got the most hugs from people. Many people around here know me, and I got more strokes that the rest of the family.
In the evening our cousin June came to visit, but I was so tired I couldn’t hold my head up. I went to snooze in the big purple chair, and tried to listen in.
Friday morning we had our family council. Here I presented cards with specific gifts that Dad and I had discussed to leave for each of the five children. I also had a check list of things to discuss with them as a result of the meeting with the Executor. There had been some fears of disagreements, but they all evaporated. We ended up having a family day, visiting together in small groups in various rooms, and with Jasel and Elsie serving us a fine meal of spaghetti squash with Italian sausage and meat sauce. We ate at the table in shifts.
Later in the afternoon, Ernie and Penny and their son Trevor, and our sister Erma left, taking some gifts with them. (Some I will send as I can find ways). After supper I took Uncle Bill and Aunt Jean to the airport and also dropped off Tom as his place. When I got back, Elsie and her family were packing and getting ready to leave so they could drive across the prairies during the night, and reach the rocky mountains to drive there in the daylight hours.
(I’ve just learned that Jasel got sick on the way, and Elsie did most of the driving. The last leg Jalise had to drive because Elsie was falling asleep. I’m thankful they made it back safely! Also learned that Uncle Bill and Aunt Jean had flight delays and only got home at 3 am).
