“The RoseBouquet”

[Note: a few years ago I wrote a series of articles on depression. Last week I interviewed a woman for her testimony about overcoming depression, and I remembered these articles. It may be helpful to someone who needs this spiritual perspective].

So many talk about having depression, that it’s almost a status symbol now. Of course, those who truly suffer this affliction do not enjoy it much. I KNOW there are spiritual answers.

There are however, certain other emotions that often are mistaken for depression. They should not be treated the same, so it’s important to distinguish which you are dealing with.

DISCOURAGEMENT
This is what you feel when you lose hope. You’re unable to do the work God gave you. You get sadder and sadder, and give up – on yourself, on God, on life.

Put a discouraged person with other depressed and sad people, and it will only get worse. This individual needs to be with encouragers who speak with hope and gladness.

SORROW
This is a deep sadness of the soul, yet it is possible to be very sad about one thing, such as an illness, or death in the family, and joyful on another. A sorrowful person can be encouraged by someone weeping with them, and can still have a sense of purpose, and acknowledge that God can use this time to help him or her grow up spiritually.

GRIEF
This is an anguish of the spirit affecting both soul and body. It drains you of all emotional energy, causes sleeplessness, and can distort perspective. Often it involves a total disinterest in food. Grief that drags on and on can become depression.

Medical professionals use the following criteria for depression, the most common mental disorder in America, and twice as common in women as men.

At least two weeks of any four of these symptoms;

- poor appetite and weight loss, or of eating too much, and gaining weight,

- sleeping problems, either too much or not enough,

- no interest or pleasure in usual activities,

- fatigue, no energy,

- excessive or wrong sense of guilt, feeling worthless, and reproaching self,

- unable to think or concentrate,

- thinking of death or suicide a lot.

The medical people refer to categories and special terms. A Neurotic depression is mild, a Psychotic depression is severe.

Bipolar means two extremes of emotion. Inappropriate exhilaration is mania; severe sadness is depression, so a manic-depressive is one who swings both ways.

Unipolar (uni means one) depression is only the one end of the spectrum, the extremely sad person.

Reactive or situational depression comes to those who have a bout of great downer feelings after a huge disappointment or a trauma, like a death in the family, loss of a job, or a personal financial catastrophe.

What can bring on any of these depressed states? Well, almost any factor, from external, spiritual, and some physical causes. (We’ll explore some in later articles).

External reasons can range from a cloudy, over-cast day, to a cluttered home or office, unrealistic goals you cannot meet, or constant interruptions by phone, etc.

Spiritual causes are bitterness against God, not having a worthy purpose in life, secret sins, anniversaries of bad times, objects with occult connections, and an ungrateful spirit.

Physical factors include hormonal imbalances, or a sluggish thyroid, lack of true deep sleep, chronic illness, adjustments to delivery of a baby, a spinal misalignment, too much sugar, lack of vitamins, or good nutrition.

There is also work being done on genes causing hereditary depression. However, I believe if that were so, God would have mentioned or hinted at it in the Bible. I agree with Bill Gothard who says these will most likely be spiritual causes. And yes, spiritual problems can be inherited.

Let me say again, I KNOW there are spiritual answers and cures for depression. God does not want to see us in that pit all our lives. I want to challenge you, if you are coping with this problem to diagnose yourself carefully, and honestly.

Like King David of the Bible in Psalms, give yourself a little positive talk, and say, “Now, Self, Hope in God! He cares. He will help!”

P.S. If you are in a hurry to read the whole series of six articles, go to this index page, and you will find them at the bottom of the left-hand column of titles. Sharing Library. At Western Tract Mission, Inc., we also have a tract on depression. You will find it online, ready to read at; There is an Answer to Depression.

My Saturdays are my domestic days when I try to get my housecleaning, yard work and special renovation or decorator work done. Sometimes they don’t turn out quite as I’d imagined, and of course I always have some jobs at the end of the day that I simply didn’t get to do. However, if I go into the day with a flexible mindset I have enough successes to feel good about the day later.

You like days that turn out like that too, I’m sure!

This past Saturday I had hoped to do, besides my weekly laundry, my basic house-cleaning and to turn that heap of chimney bricks in my backyard into a bit of a patio beside the sidewalk, especially the hollow part between the tree’s roots. On top of that, I hoped to dig up my garden and get it ready for the winter. Though I knew that wasn’t get done in one day.

Well, I got the load of laundry done, and was starting my cleaning when the girl next door (age 8 or 9) came over to play with Snowflake. After a bit I realized that if I was going to entertain her I would not get any work done, so I suggested she entertain Snowflake while I focused on my cleaning. She was enjoying herself and after chasing the cat around for a while, finally he allowed her to hold him. So I offered Brandi lunch, and she accepted.

I’d been eying the backyard, but it was raining in little showers, so I decided to put off the yardwork and tackle instead the work downstairs in my basement. The furnace men had leaned on my double-wide shelf unit, and some braces had come down. So of course, the board shelves and everything on them had sagged to the floor. I transferred the stuff to another cleared area on the floor, and then repaired the ladders that held the shelf-boards. I even went out and found stronger 2x4s for the rungs. I did pretty well with a hammer and those long nails except one end. Every nail I tried bent on me.

I was exhausted and my nose full of dust, so I decided it was time to go upstairs, and since my brother Tom had called and asked me to come pick up something, I figured it might be okay to send the cat’s friend home. Brandi was waiting to tell me that she was going home.

Off I went to Tom’s, and came back with a box of cookbooks beside the items he’d bought at a super-sale. When I pulled up at my gate in the alley, I spotted two couples I know from Neuanlage, my home church. They were eying the roof of my house, and trying to see whether I’d had that replaced yet. They were quick to invite me to join them for supper at the Granada restaurant across the alley.

There I discovered that we were celebrating Abe and Tena Ens’ 44th wedding anniversary!

Afterwards they went off to the Barn Playhouse to see a drama, but first, the Ens and Ackermans came over to deal with that one long nail that needed to go in. Ah-ha. Ross and Abe got it in!

When they left I did dishes and went down to do my ironing, and bring up my laundry. But I couldn’t resist putting the shelves back and carrying most of the boxes back to them first.

Finally, I sat down to do some quiet work at my desk, for my body was feeling quite spent. I even went to bed early but felt great at all that happened. What variety for one Saturday!

Nor did I pay for it on Sunday by being sick. Hallelujah!

Last week and this, I’ve been busy at the office here, trying to shift from a focus on the computers to getting some real work done. However, there’s still computer aspects to it all. It must look odd to anyone peeking in the door to see me with about four computers open, and I’m trying to move files from one to another, and install Suse on that one, and zipping on my secretarial chair from desk to desk.

Last week, Anna, the new volunteer for the WTM website came for almost all day Friday. So (sigh) I gave up my own work agenda to teach her. By about 4 pm, we had completed the whole issue of Reflections in the online (web-page) version. Wow! When I work on it alone, it takes me at least three or four Monday evenings. We did have a head start on some of the pages in the preceding two weeks, but still that was about 8 pages in one day!

Yesterday I got my favourite operating system, openSuse installed on the Acer laptop – while leaving the Windows XP on it, so it is dual boot. It needs some fine-tuning of my personal look and feel, but it should be useful tonight at the Board meeting when I take minutes. (No more long-hand minutes, hurray!)

Besides that I sought and found one of several solutions for file sharing between the computers. How easy it is once you know how!

Getting my working files in place is a stage I need to go through before I can become truly productive, but I do still look forward to the next four months for great strides forward. Somehow I’ll work in the practical computer details that need to be dealt with too.

The days are getting shorter and cooler and the taste of autumn is in the air. It is a time of shifting gears in our lives here. Fortunately, I can hold onto my Joy Gems in all seasons.

(I must tell you one day soon about my 87 Joy Gems).

Incidentally, my friend Vanessa is hoping to make a trip to Texas later this fall, and she was wondering if I know anyone there who might give her a few days of hospitality. I’m not sure. I don’t know if any of my RoseBouquet friends live in Texas and have an Open Heart – Open House policy. If you live there, and would like a treat, meeting Vanessa, drop me a line and we’ll see if we can arrange something.

A friend and I cooperate on the web site, Generosity-Alive.org He suggested forming a Club 52 with 100 members to raise some income for some needy ministries in various countries. This is really quite simple, but I’ll let you go read this page to learn about it; Generosity-Alive.org/Worthy/Club52.shtml

Now you could help us out, because last week I thought it was working. Then last night I had an email from David, saying that when he tried the link to donate, it did not work. Because it goes to my own PayPal account it doesn’t like me trying to give myself a donation. If you are able, perhaps you will be willing to try the link out and let me know if you are not able to get through. Then I would need to set that up all over again.

Some of us get attached to certain words and we collect them like pretty cut gemstones in a velvet pouch. I’m especially partial these days to the word Joy.

I’ve been hunting down and studying the verses in the Bible that use the word “Joy” about one or two mornings a week for several years, however, this year as I realized that this could become a book, I have taken more time round and polish this off. I’ve already got 87 and am now determined to hunt until I can say I have found at least 100 joy gems. There will likely be more.

This morning I was studying the verses at Deuteronomy 16:14-17. This is where God is telling His people that they are to celebrate their joy with feasts and they are to include the singles and lonely and needy. God says their joy will be complete. They are also to give gifts of gratitude to God in direct proportion to the blessings they have received.

So now, in the passive moments of my day, I’m asking myself about the most joyful times in my life, and how did I celebrate them. I may have to revise me whole approach and method of rejoicing.

What have been the most joyful times of my life? Why not think back over your life too?

As a child I loved wandering in the back pasture (I was ostensibly sent to fetch the cows for milking), and I would stop to admire snowflake like flowers, rocks covered with a rust-coloured moss, and daydreaming as I gazed at the clouds. Once I learned to read books were my delight.

Later I learned to enjoy meeting people. Especially if they would open up and tell me about themselves.

I guess family gatherings for holidays were special too, but usually I withdrew as soon as I could get away with it to read. Somehow I can’t picture me having a joy that carried over several days of feasting with others. Apparently then, my joy was not mature or complete then.

I do recall some wonderful family get-togethers with relatives in Toronto, as an adult, and later here at home with Mom and Dad. Some guests brought more joy than others, but yes, those were special times of eating, talking and enjoying one another. There were times when I deliberately invited other lonely singles to join Dad and me. I think those were times of complete joy.

Maybe I should have tried harder to celebrate with glad abandon and not fret about details so much. I think I can improve on that. I believe I will plan my celebrations more carefully from now on to focus on the joy.

What about the giving of gifts in proportion to the blessings received? Do you know what that is? Tithing? Well, sort of. A tithe is a tenth of the whole, and so that amount hinges on the total in the whole. But I don’t think God wants us to get stuck on just giving a tenth of our profits or gain. We can easily set a higher proportion if our hearts are truly full of joyful gratitude.

Here I think is where my heart bubbles and brims over with joy. I delight in giving and am constantly wishing for more that I could give away. I am convinced God knows this and is preparing me for the time when I will be able to give much more. However, I realize that such an attitude needs a means of expression, so I have for a number of years now, tried to watch for other things I can give besides money. I’ve discovered that the very act of giving generates a fresh joy above that which stimulated the desire to give in the first place.

There is so much to think about in looking at the facets or aspects of my joy gems, sometimes I ramble like this. But I hope to share my devotional joy gem study soon so it can seep into every nook and cranny of your life too. Watch for it!

Yesterday it was 25 years to the day when I got on a bus in London, Ontario, and left all my friends behind, and many great memories and spent 48 hours on a Greyhound bus coming back here to look after my parents. I spent 23 1/2 years in Hague doing that. Now I’ve been here in Saskatoon for more than a year already, and my life has taken another whole new direction.

25 years sounds so long. Somehow it doesn’t seem quite that long in my mind. Maybe some of the years have blurred together. However, I don’t resent them. While some friends think I threw my life away to care for my parents and give up my own career for that, I see it as a time of deepening my spiritual life and I am now coasting to a degree on the wisdom and strength of character God built into me during that period.

Well, this milestone is not a big deal to anyone else, so I decided the best way to celebrate it yesterday was to take the whole day off to talk all sorts of things over with the Lord, and to ask for direction for the next phase of my life. Like the next four months right now. I know others – maybe you too – squint their eyes, thinking that would not appeal to them at all. I love it!

Whenever I take a Prayer Retreat like that I come away refreshed and with a new sense of knowin’ where I’m goin’, and what my role is to be. I get to spell out my vision and dreams for the future, and what I would like to accomplish and what resources I think I will need for that. Somehow it seems that the Lord provides whatever I’m truly ready for.

I realize that while I have the office and a batch of computers more or less ready for the business of teaching others, it would be better if I got my daily routines in that office all sorted out and down to a nice pattern too. I’m going to work in that office on a daily basis and push to make my own online businesses productive and effective. I think well before January I should be able to advertise and prepare to offer the course.

But guess what. This morning my friend Kathy is coming by here at home. We both have our birthdays in the last week of July so we usually exchange gifts and celebrate together for a bit. Well, we haven’t been able to coordinate our schedules this summer until today. So we’ve agreed that our birthday season is not over until we do that. Today at 11 is the day!

Just after I got the RoseBouquet published last week I got three confirmations for guests who would come to my seminar if I ran it on Saturday. One of them changed her mind, but another person showed up, so I did have three guests, and another friend (a different Anna) came to prepare and lay out the lunch for me. It all went quite well, and aside from the bother of preparing all that food, I think I’ll be happy to do this seminar again, when I get a few folks interested.

It really gave me a chance to explain how I understand websites, and the different ways to create them, and I was able to show a video tour of how my favourite one (SBI) works. Even though these three didn’t sign up, they will now be telling their friends about my services. So it was a good promotional move.

As I just said above, I have a new sense of direction and have revised my daily/weekly agenda for a focus on my own web businesses, which I hope to run from my office.

Besides that, Arnold Stobbe, the director of Western Tract Mission, asked last week if I could give more time to the mission. Since this affects the rent I pay for the office, I’ve decided to give up one hour every afternoon, to take on his new assignments. Namely, I am to update and re-format some out-dated tracts, and to do more interviews and write up testimonies which we can use in our gospel literature. There is also the Scripture Signs ministry to revive and bring into the 20th century.

I’ll still handle my web design clients’ work in the evenings from home, so I’ll still be working 11-12 hours a day, but will put computer repair into a smaller compartment – Wednesday mornings.

Here are the details, if you haven’t heard them yet… Back to Work Special!

Site Build It! Main Site

Network Marketers

(This happened 25 years ago)I got on the Greyhound bus on Labour Day Monday at noon, and as it rolled out onto York Street I looked around at the downtown of the city I’d loved and lived in for 12 years. Tears welled up and washed down my face, for I did not know whether, or how long it might be before I ever saw it again.

Then deep inside me, I heard, or rather felt this new song well up, which I’d heard the first time the night before at church;
“Emmanuel, Emmanuel,
His name is called Emmanuel.
God with us, revealed in us,
His name is called Emmanuel.”

I wept afresh because that was just what I needed to hear at that moment.

Two years earlier Mom had phoned from Saskatchewan. She’d more or less said that she needed me to come home because her doctor had said her heart condition was such she should not be doing housework any more. She’d told him, “As long as I have a single daughter, I’m not hiring a maid!”

It had sent me into a tailspin because I was tender of conscience and heard that call to come home. But I was very busy doing many good works in my church, I rented out rooms to Christian college girls, all besides holding down an office job, and I had many friends in this lovely forest city of London.

I had running conversations with God. and believe me, for the next two years I wrestled with this matter. When our plant shut down for a two week vacation in July I went home to size up the situation.

It didn’t look so serious, and it sure didn’t appeal to me one bit. But God let me argue and reason with Him, and go back again in 1983 for another checking out visit, which had some bad scenes, and eventually I knew, and admitted that I knew what was the right thing to do, and that I’d be miserable disobeying God’s perfect will. Also, that the Lord had not held any stick over me in this, but quietly waited until I faced the truth.

The bus took two hours to get to Toronto, where I had to change buses. There Aunt Jean, my favourite, and her friend, also mine, Ruth Cairns met me. Aunt Jean saw right away that I’d been crying, and I was out of even the last roll of toilet paper I’d brought along for tissues. (I always had hay fever in London every fall).

“You could change your mind,” Aunt Jean suggested helpfully, compassionately.

“No!” I cried out miserably. “This is the right thing to do, but it sure costs!”

Besides, I’d burned all my bridges back. I’d resigned from my job, and about nine positions at the church, trained others to replace me, emptied my lovely home on The Ridgeway. My decision was made and I’m a person of my word.

While we visited among the luggage, our friend Ruth scurried around to buy me some tissues, and I asked my Aunt, “Do you know this song, “Emmanuel, Emmanuel.” She didn’t.

This was going to be a 48 hour trip. When the bus rolled out through Toronto, I heard that song again inside of me. As far as Sudbury, I had a seat mate, who was a doctor’s wife. She was sympathetic as I explained my move, but I was not able to sing for her the song that repeated softly and tenderly where only I could hear it, over and over again. If I talked or got off for a bathroom break at a stop, it faded back, but as soon as I was quietly staring out of the window the words returned like a continuous tape.

The decision I had finally made before God about going home included a resolve to trust Him for all my finances as I knew my parents could not afford and would not pay me a salary. That was a given. But one night when I had worried about never having time to write, God had brought to mind the thought that at home, I would really have time to write. At that, waves of joy had washed over me; had they been water, I would have drowned! I had no idea how long it might take to get an income from my writing, nor how much time I would actually have, but I had come to the conclusion that I loved my Lord enough to trust Him with these unknowns.

I expected my faith to be tested severely, but likely to be strengthened by those tests. Each time I thought of all I was leaving behind, and these unknowns, my swollen sinuses would spill a fresh waterfall down my face, and the Holy Spirit of God held me and sang His lullaby to me again, and again. This reassured me it was okay to grieve this upheaval of my life, this huge change, and that He understood the cost.

No one else ever has! I lost friends over that move, and of the ones I have kept, few have given me any words of commendation for this decision. Some think it was outright foolish. But then, this is only one chapter of my life, and it is not the last one, praise God!

When the bus finally pulled into Saskatoon, 48 hours later, I thought my head was dried out, my face and nose was crusty with a dry, flaky rash. Mom and Dad were there, and as Dad helped me load my heap of luggage into the car, I noticed that the song was dying away.

I tried to muster it up one more time, but still, I could not sing it, only listen;
“Emmanuel, Emmanuel,
His name is called Emmanuel.
God with us, revealed in us,
His name is called Emmanuel.”

He is, even yet, always with me.