“The RoseBouquet”

The other night I got a forward and my first impression was, “Sure, I agree!”

But the next morning soaking in the tub, and getting my mind geared up again to think, I recalled it and decided that, no, that is not Biblically correct and not the way I really feel.

Now I want to assure you that this person (woman writer, I think) has every bit as much a right to describe how she feels about things as I do. Her friends have every right to forward it to their other friends if they so please. But if you know me well, you know that not only am I a glutton for hard work, but I also like to sit quietly and think things through and discuss them in prayer with the Lord. It occurs to me that some of MY friends (the crowd I’m addressing here right now) might like to see how I react to these sentiments in this forward.

Not for a minute am I suggesting that you have to think just like me. Gossips talk about other people, intelligent people discuss ideas. Perhaps you’ll have a response for me as to what YOU think about these things. That would be nice!

[Note: I'll indicate the quoted paragraphs from the forwarded email with dotted lines].

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I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve  become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great  freedom that comes with aging.
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Me: Okay, I’m with her on the first sentence because I agree that we need to be grateful for what we have, and stop measuring ourselves against others, and being unkind to ourselves.

But I think the things she describes further on are rather self-indulgent and since I try to live my life in the light of God’s Word, the Bible, I see a contradiction. Jesus said to take up our cross and follow Him. That means that sometimes we do have to deny ourselves little pleasures that are only for our own delight, and that will soon lure us away from the work at hand. It is possible and commendable to enjoy our work and delight in that - or rather, in the Lord, who is a good task Master. He will not abuse us. Our true rewards are yet to come.

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Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love …I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
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Me: Oh-oh, this woman is really giving herself permission to enjoy her indulgences. This is beyond accepting the unavoidable.

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I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and  compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
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Me: Notice that her excusing of herself now makes her philosophical? Broken hearts means loss of loved ones, in her mind, and it is these broken hearts that give us strength and understanding and compassion. Is that really true? Do you really have to have a broken heart to be pure. Suffering does generally make us more understanding of others who suffer, but I don’t know about the joy of being imperfect. Does she really believe that or is it a cliche she’s picked up somewhere?

Personally, I believe that it is God’s Spirit who makes me strong on the midst of suffering. How I respond to that suffering is going to determine whether I mature or not. We are like teabags; put us into hot water (trouble) and only that which is in us will come out. However, having to struggle with troubles over a longer period of time gives us lots of practice in turning to God for help, and in that sense He uses the troubles to mature us.

Purity or holiness does not come from never having a broken heart. It is a gift from God, received by faith. I have done a Bible study on my own of 180 verses about JOY in the Bible. (I hope to publish them yet). I can safely say that joy does not come from being imperfect. It comes from praising and worshipping God. I’m learning that another fringe benefit is increased faith.

Now I do agree that it is a blessing to have your hair turn a natural grey or silver, and to have laugh lines etched around the eyes. I don’t know any stats on how many have never laughed, but I am convinced that a deep, settled peace and knowing that I am loved by God is a greater joy than giddy laughter at jokes.

Here’s a few other advantages to being grey/silver-haired;
1. mothers let their kids wave at and greet you in the park - you seem safe.
2. young men with dirty minds slow down and avert their eyes when passing you.
3. motorists often wave you to cross the street even though they have no stop sign.
4. kids believe you more readily when you tell them something.

Oops, I better finish what I was doing here. . .

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As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
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Me: If you are more relaxed about yourself, others will reflect that more positive attitude back to you. That happens at any age. I know one woman who will only hire people as her employees if they honestly like themselves, because if they don’t, she knows soon she will not like that employee either. This writer above seems to have accepted herself at last and is rejoicing in the sense of freedom that gives her. I’m glad for her. It will make her life more tolerable.

I am prepared to allow for the fact that she was just blurting out her thoughts and feelings without analyzing them as deeply as I have here, however, I reserve the right to not identify with her 100%.

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And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

Forward this to at least 7 people and see what happens on your screen. You will laugh your head off!!!
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Me: Okay, let her have dessert every day if she wants. I see it as self-indulgence and I do it sometimes too. (I guard my peanut butter and cheddar cheese). But I know better!

The parting blessing …. well, I can let her have that too. She doesn’t have to be a carbon copy of me.

Only I will NOT forward to 7 people and if I did, I would not expect to laugh my head off at anything I see on the screen. My head is well attached. Laughter will NOT remove it, thank you very much!

Aren’t you glad I don’t do this every time I receive a “cheery or funny” forward?